The Michael Jordan of secondary sports

Now here's an event for you. An event that is ironic if only by name. That event is race walking. What? A race, by definition, is a contest of speed. Walking, however, is something done at a leisurely pace—sometimes even for fun. Most sports have a history—somebody to credit for it's invention. James Naismith and basketball. Abner Doubleday and baseball. Who is the inventor of race walking? Probably a grandmother somewhere.
"What are you doing today?"
"I don't know. I may go for a walk."
And then somebody said the faithful words that changed the walking world as we know it. I'll race you. It's not just an event thrown into the Olympics so Estonia can win a medal, either. It's one of the most governed sports in the Olympics. You are penalized, or carded, for each misstep in your form. Yes, walking has a proper form. Who knew? The basics are,

1. Race walking is a progression of steps so taken that the walker makes contact with the ground so that no visible (to the human eye) loss of contact occurs.

2. The advancing leg must be straightened (i.e., not bent at the knee) from the moment of first contact with the ground until in the vertical upright position.

Any violation of the rules of form results in a card. Three cards and you're disqualified. That means there will be no strolling, sauntering, swaggering, bebopping, slow-bobbing, limping or pimping in the event. Notice there were no brothers. Why? Every brother walks with a bit of a limp. We'd be disqualified as soon as the gun sounds.
There are favorites in every event—even race walking. I was sitting there thinking to myself, how does that happen. Is there a Michael Jordan of race walking in Russia? Do kids grow up wanting to be like him—wanting to be race walkers? I don't know, but I imagine that the kid who wants to race walk probably doesn't have many friends.
"You wanna come out and play?"
"Naw, I gotta go practice walking." Seriously? I mean you can pretty much practice wherever you go. But who wants to hang out with the guy who's walking like he has a broken hip all the time?
And then I was watching another interesting event. Competitive trampolineing. People jump up and down on a trampoline and do flips. The event was held in some Chinese housewife's backyard. I'm serious. Who knew that when I was eight on my next-door-neighbors trampoline that I could've gone to the Olympics? Such wasted talent.