Anyway, it seems as though somebody out there is trying to legitimize pole dancing. I have no problem with that. They even have a mission: Miss Pole Dance was created to change preconceived ideas of pole dance as a form of fitness by creating jaw-dropping choreographed events of pole dance containing stunning feats of fitness and agility making pole fitness accessible and accepted as a fitness routine and highly technical dance form open to both amateurs and professional female dancers alike, and keep statistics: since 2005, we have witnessed an explosive growth of over 4200% (2005-2007) in new pole dance schools offering pole dance as a form of fitness.
I don't know who's keeping tabs on stripper classes, but apparently they're pretty busy right about now. You can even get accreditation as a pole dance instructor. I guess the National Association for Stripper Certification (NASC), pronounced NASS, or Nas, as in -T, has been pretty busy too.
There is even a movement to possibly get pole dancing into the Olympics. I certainly appreciate the athletic ability of these women and the dance that the women above performed was somewhat elegant, except for the fact that it was performed very scantily clad and on a pole. I have no problem with them trying to legitimize pole dancing. To each their own. I guess what I have a problem with is they're trying to make me think that the women entering the contest live in my neighborhood, are my next-door neighbor and lead the girl scout meetings every Tuesday. I'm not buying it. Yes, I'm sure that women across the globe are taking pole dancing classes, but take a look at these pictures.
Is that a schoolgirl costume? Do you see any PTA board members in that group? Hell, those aren't even the girls that show up on amateur night at the club. Those are full-on strippers. If she looks like a stripper and dances like a stripper, then her name's probably Destiny. Yeah, they have their clothes on so they're technically not stripper, but they're certainly acting stripper-ish. And for that, I just can't imagine it being an Olympic sport. First, could they even cover that on regular cable networks. I mean check out the move at the start of the video, or the one at 1:30. I see a lot more stripper in that move than Olympian. And of course there's the problem with clothes, or lack thereof. Since they certainly can't go on wearing actual stripper attire, I guess they'll be wearing Olympic sanctioned team colored leopard leotards and high heels. All non-sanctioned props — hats, canes, whips, glitter-infused oils and gloves — will have to be pre-approved by the sanctioning body. Any non-approved props used during a routine will resutlt in the deduction of a point.
And that brings us to scoring. How exactly are they going to do that? In boners? We've all seen what goes on in strip clubs. We know what they do on the pole, but there's no universal terminology for the moves. Are they going to come up with names and terminology?
"And next up is Candi. There's a lot of difficulty in her routine, including a Crotch Clinch 360, a Between-the-Legs No-Look 180 and the very difficult Peek-A-Boo Special.
"Yeah, Tom, her routine was special. Best I've seen this round. I'd give it 8 boners. Would've been 10, but she slipped a little on her dismount. Boners will definitely be deducted there."
And to compete in the Olympics you have to be an amateur athlete. That means you can't receive pay. Sorry Lace, you do not qualify. Raven, you became ineligible when you took those ones at the Williams bachelor party, and Sparkle when you donned the secretary outfit and booty clapped your way all the way to the next tax bracket. Bambi, you were disqualified as soon as you stepped foot into the champagne room. Is the US going to open a Stripper Training Center in Las Vegas? Who's going to compete? It certainly isn't going to be soccer moms, and real strippers won't qualify. I guess for now this is just pipe dream for a handful of strippers trying to legitimize what they do, and a wet dream for most men starring the combination of all of their fantasies: sports and strippers.
No comments:
Post a Comment