uncomfortable

Every guy remembers how undomfortable it was the first time they bought condoms. It may be one of the most uncomfortable things you'll ever do. My first time, I walked around the store for about 15 minutes pretending I didn't know where they were, and refusing help when asked if I needed some. Finally, I approached the section, and after much deliberating about things I hand no idea about, like spermicidal jelly, ribbed and resevior tip, I decided on her pleasure. Even at an early age I figured I might need some help in that area. After that, I walked around the store for about ten more minutes and then I approached the counter. I grabbed one of those Hollywood tabloid magazines and pretended to read it so I wouldn't have to look the woman at the counter in the eye. The only time I left the cover of my magazine was to grab the bag and tip-toe out. I won't lie, I felt really cool at the time. I put the condom in my wallet so it would get the little distressed ring inside (you know the one I'm talking about). I showed it to everyone who wanted to see it.
Now, about a month away from my 25th birthday, I don't think buying condoms is cool anymore, but it is just as uncomfortable. I still walk aimlessly around pretending like I don't know where the condoms are. They even put them in the back of the store so you have to make the long walk to the front. Well, the other day I went into the store to freshen up my goodies drawer and there just so happened to be an older female cashier and an older woman already at the counter. I tried to stand in the back but the older woman wasn't ready yet and asked me to go in front of her. The whole time I was whistling a son, and I never once looked the cashier in the eye. I just played with my bank card. I saw the older woman behind me look at my finger. I'm sure she was thinking to herself how much of a sinner I was for having pre-marital sex. I felt like I was disappointing her. She just looked at me like she wanted to give me a hug. Then the woman at the counter said, "Have a nice night", (voice inflection on night) and I just felt dirty. I felt like she knew what I was about to do--like she thought I was going to do it in the parking lot or something. I was so relieved when I got out of there. I feel like there should be a no speech policy in the drug store when people buy condoms. When you leave, the cashier should just nod their head. You nod your head back in agreement and then you leave.