restaurant biz

Ok. I work at a restaurant, so I'm going to vent a little bit here. I have a couple of things I need to get off of my chest. First. I only make 2.13/hr. I make money from your tips. I understand if you don't want to tip me. You don't have to-but if I give you great service I would appreciate it if you tipped me based upon that and not the fact that you had a bad day at work or you're just pissed off. I am a very versatile man. If you want ten per cent service I can give it to you. If you want 20 per cent service I can do that too. I think you should have to quote your tip before you sit down. That way I know exactly what it is you want and I can better serve your needs as well as mine. This is not a bad thing either. Believe me, every now and then I want a break, and the five to ten per cent quoter would be welcomed, but don't ask for twenty per cent service and tip five.
Second. Bread is NOT an appetizer. I will bring it no matter what. As such, don't ask for it. It's coming.
Also. Fellas, sometimes ordering for your girl is a nice gesture. Very sweet if you're trying to earn some booty points, but at least know what she wants. I mean, if you're ordering for her but don't really know what she wants then somebody is not needed. We shouldn't have to play telephone with her order. You remember the old game you used to play in elementary school? By the time the order gets down to me it's all screwed up. Why not cut out the middle man and let her order for herself?
Another thing. While it may be hard to believe, you ARE NOT my only customer. My job title is waiter, not bitch. I will get your katsup, mustard, pickles, baked potato or whatever it is you want as soon as I can. I promise. Along those same lines-get all that stuff together at once. When I ask you if you want anything else don't just say no arbitrarily. Just because you don't want anything doesn't mean that nobody else does. Little Billy or young Janie may want some katsup. Ask them so that I don't have to make five different trips when I could've done it all at once.
And do you let your kids throw food on the floor or the table at home? Why do you let them do it at a restaurant? Somebody has to clean that up.
Also, and maybe I'm just old fashioned, but take your hat off when you're inside. It's not cold and your hat isn't that cool. Just take it off.
Don't tell me you're ready to order when you're not, or if you are but everybody else isn't. Having me stand there while you look over the menu two or three times isn't doing me any favors. I'll come back when you're ready.
If I'm going to be your server you have to talk to me. Please, please, please don't point to the menu when ordering. I can see the picture, but I'd rather you speak. Use your words. It's easier. While using your words, speak up. I don't understand whispering or mumbling. I'm just going to start doing it back. If you mumble I'm going to mumble to you. If you whisper I'm going to whisper to you. See how you like it.
It's my job to bring what you ordered. I know what you orderd and you should too. Don't tell me you ordered steak when you ordered fish. I'm not trying to play a crazy trick on you by not bringing you what you asked for. Haha I'll get them. They ordered steak, but I'm going to give them chicken. I wouldn't make any money like that.
One of my most hated pet peaves is coming in late. If we close at 11 and you come in at 10:55 I'm not going to be happy, and you can't expect me to be, nor can you expect great service. I'm trying to go home. Think about it like this. What if I came in at 4:50 to get my taxes done, or 3:55 to make a deposit at the bank. It sucks doesn't it?
Lastly, a word to the verbal tippers. Save it. While I really appreciate your thanks and praise, I wish you would show it monetarily.
I guess that's it. I'm off my soap box. So you're saying to yourself, "he's bitter", or "if he doesn't like it why doesn't he just quit." I have answers to those questions. Am I bitter? No. Well, I won't lie. Every server is bitter, but only because of the way we are treated. Not because we hate life or anything. Why don't I quit? Honestly, it's the best money I can make for the time you put in, and it's easy. If you know how to deal with people (sell yourself) and you treat people how you would want to be treated it's pretty easy. Even when you're not making a lot of money, it's more than you had when you came in. And you leave with cash in hand.