I got pulled over for having a taillight out the other night. He walked over to my window and asked the question that all cops ask. The question that should be given the dumbest question of the day award, “Do you know why I’m pulling you over?” As he ran my information, I sat there wondering why they ask that. I’m sure it’s strictly rhetorical, or part of some policy, but why? Do they ask on the pure chance that somebody may incriminate themselves for something other than what they were pulled over for? Do they pull people over for nothing hoping that they’re going to tell on themselves? I wouldn't tell them even if I knew why they pulled me over on the slight chance that they will forget. I'm exercising the hell out of my right to remain silent. I mean, what is it, some sort of twisted game show. Do I get a prize if I get the question right—a get out of jail free card or something? Are you going to let me off if I play your little game? I wonder if anybody has ever incriminated themselves.
“It’s because I’m transporting heroin from the Mexican border isn’t it? No? You know I pour beer into my dogs water bowl? No? You saw me run that red light? Yeah? I was joking about that heroin thing. Funny right?"
The thing is, the real answer to the question is because they're a cop. It's their job to pull people over. If some stranger in an unmarked Volkswagen Pasat with no lights tried to pull you over, would you do it? No, because they're not a cop.
That gives me an idea for a new game show. I'm going to call it, You Have the Right To Shut the Fuck Up. It's kind of like a mix between Cops and Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Police will pull people over for what seems to be a traffic stop. They will then proceed to ask the person why they pulled them over. The only difference is they will actually wait for a response. They have to keep guessing why they officer pulled them over until they get it right. For each answer they get wrong they'll rack up a couple days in jail for being a dumbass. If you get it right, they'll let you go. Yeah, I know it sounds stupid, but people watch The Hills and America's Got Talent, don't they. It'll be a hit.
Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts
August 27, 2008
May 05, 2007
answer to life's burning questions
If you could have any super power what would it be? I would want to know what people were thinking. That power would be invaluable. I always want to know. If I couldn't have that power I would want to be really fast.
The other day I was thinking. If you die, I wonder if you get to see what you would've done had you stayed alive. That would be cool too. Or maybe if you could see your own funeral and see who shows up and see what they're thinking.
Would you rather have a time machine or a teleporter? I would rather have a time machine. With a teleporter you could only go back and forth to places in the same time. Like say you're hungry and you're at your house. You could say, "take me to Wendy's" and you're there. You don't have to worry about the space/time continuum or anything like that. With a time machine you could go anywhere you want. The only drawback is it has to be something you were already going to do or already did. If you didn't get off the couch and go to Wendy's ten minutes or so into the future then it wouldn't matter. You could, however, go to the the future and then go to Wendy's. You have to be careful not the run into yourself though. That would screw everything up.
If you were a girl/guy would you date yourself? I would...I think. I've been told I'd make a pretty girl so I'd definately think I was hot, but whether or not I would date myself would depend on if I knew it was me or not. I mean if I knew me already or if I knew it was just me as a girl. If I knew then I wouldn't trust myself because I'd say anything to get in my pants. If I was just some random girl that didn't know who I was then I'd probably fall for it since I'm pretty charming.
I wonder what Victoria's secret is. It can't be a very big one because her draws ain't hiding much. I think the secret is that she's making a killing on selling you next to nothing. It's a raquet, allbeit a raquet that I happily buy into. The secret is really that it's all a big trick. For the most part I don't really care what kind of panties a girl is wearing, nor do I think most men care. There are basically two things to deal with when it comes to panties. Either I'm going to get to see them, or I'm not. If I'm not, then I don't really care or care to know what you're wearing underneath your dress. If I am, then I probably don't want them on long enough for me to notice that they have a lacey or floral pattern on them.
I'd like to try and figure out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop but I can't help but bite the damn thing. I figure that it's somewhere between 127 and 418. I don't know though. I feel like the real answer depends on the acidity and make-up of one's saliva, the surface area of one's tongue, the licking force and the speed or rate or licking.
If I could be any animal in the world I think I'd be a Polar Bear. They seem like they're really cool and chilled out (pun intented), but if you screw with them they can really mess you up.
The other day I was thinking. If you die, I wonder if you get to see what you would've done had you stayed alive. That would be cool too. Or maybe if you could see your own funeral and see who shows up and see what they're thinking.
Would you rather have a time machine or a teleporter? I would rather have a time machine. With a teleporter you could only go back and forth to places in the same time. Like say you're hungry and you're at your house. You could say, "take me to Wendy's" and you're there. You don't have to worry about the space/time continuum or anything like that. With a time machine you could go anywhere you want. The only drawback is it has to be something you were already going to do or already did. If you didn't get off the couch and go to Wendy's ten minutes or so into the future then it wouldn't matter. You could, however, go to the the future and then go to Wendy's. You have to be careful not the run into yourself though. That would screw everything up.
If you were a girl/guy would you date yourself? I would...I think. I've been told I'd make a pretty girl so I'd definately think I was hot, but whether or not I would date myself would depend on if I knew it was me or not. I mean if I knew me already or if I knew it was just me as a girl. If I knew then I wouldn't trust myself because I'd say anything to get in my pants. If I was just some random girl that didn't know who I was then I'd probably fall for it since I'm pretty charming.
I wonder what Victoria's secret is. It can't be a very big one because her draws ain't hiding much. I think the secret is that she's making a killing on selling you next to nothing. It's a raquet, allbeit a raquet that I happily buy into. The secret is really that it's all a big trick. For the most part I don't really care what kind of panties a girl is wearing, nor do I think most men care. There are basically two things to deal with when it comes to panties. Either I'm going to get to see them, or I'm not. If I'm not, then I don't really care or care to know what you're wearing underneath your dress. If I am, then I probably don't want them on long enough for me to notice that they have a lacey or floral pattern on them.
I'd like to try and figure out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop but I can't help but bite the damn thing. I figure that it's somewhere between 127 and 418. I don't know though. I feel like the real answer depends on the acidity and make-up of one's saliva, the surface area of one's tongue, the licking force and the speed or rate or licking.
If I could be any animal in the world I think I'd be a Polar Bear. They seem like they're really cool and chilled out (pun intented), but if you screw with them they can really mess you up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
