tickets

The other day I got a ticket. As always, they are doing some roadwork in the city. I think they're putting in sewer pipes or something-so there's about a two mile radius where you are can't make a left-hand turn. I was going down the street to get something to eat and I had to turn around, but I couldn't make a left. I figured if I go down the street a little it would be fine and I could turn around. Apparently not. I got into what should've been the turn lane and some lady coming the other way honked at me. I didn't even think about it and made the left turn. I pulled up to the light to turn right onto the same street and a police officer knocked on my window. He said, "Son, how long have you been driving?" I just smiled. What are you supposed to say? Is he serious? Am I supposed to get out my calculator? Do I say 8 years, or should I be sarcastic? Then he asked me if I knew I couldn't turn left-like I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say no even if I did see the sign. Maybe I should've said yes to throw him off. I don't know. Then he asked, "Do you want me to give you a citation?" Who the hell says citation, and where did he get that line from-Asshole: Your Guide to Being A State Trooper? I mean, I guess it all depends. If I say no, are you not going to give me one? Does my response even matter? I should've said, "Well officer, I was thinking this morning that it has been an awful long time since my last ticket and I would actually love a citation." It's like they're begging you to do something stupid so they can beat you up or take you to jail. Then he took 30 mintues to write the ticket-as about five other people turned left onto the same street. I think one even turned left, stopped to ask him for directions and turned around. I was just supposed to get a ticket that day, I guess. For all of the other stuff I do, and don't get caught for, I can't complain. Not that you ever need a ticket, but you always seem to get them when you don't have any money and you have a vacation planned for the court date. Oh well, we'll see what happens. Until then I'm going to go to Borders and get Sarcasm: Your Guide To Answering Stupid Questions from Asshole Cops.

Model-T

This antique car reminded me of the time when I was Henry Ford for a school play/presentation thingy. One Christmas I got a plastic Model-T Ford that would spit out smoke while it spun around in circles and bounced off things. I was all excited that I got Henry Ford because I knew my car was going to be a hit (haha no pun intended). No, really, I didn't do that on purpose. Anyway, I got the thing to school and one of the little crumb snatchers broke my car. It was all good though because I looked tight in my dad's suit that was too big. If I can find the pictures from that day I'll post them. I was very funny looking. I didn't have a suit so I had to wear my dad's. My mom woke me up all early to put the suit on because she had to pin it so that it fit. It looked like the suit was made of safety pins when she got finished, but I sure was handsome.

business watch

I don't really know what this sign is about, but I thought it was funny. Maybe it's like neighborhood watch but for businesses. I don't know. All I know is that the robber and/or businessman sure looks sneaky.

camera at the light

I'm getting pretty good at the taking a picture while driving thing. Maybe that's not such a good idea when there is a camera at just about every other stop light in Atlanta-even though I think some of them are just up but not taking pictures. They're trying to scare you. I got two at the same light in the same day when they first started the whole thing. It takes a snapshot of your license plate as you roll through the red light. Once you get a ticket or two you pretty much know where they are. It's not even neccessarily a deterrent because from what I hear all you have to do is go into court and say that it wasn't you driving the car. They take a picture of the license plate, not the driver. So if they can't prove you were driving, how can they give you a ticket? I don't know how true this is because I just went ahead and paid my ticket. It sounds feasible-but I'm not a lawyer and neither is the person who told me this. Everybody thinks they're a lawyer though.

banana splits, or something else????

On my way to school today I noticed this sign. Maybe they could've worded it differently, maybe not. I'm not going to say much here, but are they selling banana splits, or something else? You be the judge.

skyline

Ahhhhh. Exit 86 on 85 South. I get off on this exit everyday on my way to school and everyday I think to myself, "the skyline looks pretty cool here." That's pretty much it. Well today I was thinking, "please help me not to run my car off this bridge because I'm trying to take a picture." Not too bad though for a en route phote. The skyline looks even better on days where you can see the sun shining through. It was a little dreary today. I think it was about 40 degrees-which to me is cold even though I went to school in Ohio. It was pretty warm last week. I think it was in the 60's most of the week. I know it makes you yankees mad when we say that 40 is cold, but in the summer you think 90 with no humidity is hot. Why don't you try jumping out of the shower and immediately sweating again-now that's hot.

baby in a bag foolishness

I was in the mall today and as I was walking out I noticed something funny on the little strollers that parents can rent to put their children in. There is a little mesh bag on the back of them that you can put little 'what not's' in if you don't have a purse or something I guess. On this bag is printed "please don't put children in bag". This was funny to me because I thought to myself, who the hell would put their child in a mesh bag when obviously the thing has a seat that just so happens to be child-shaped. As I was thinking about it it hit me. Somebody has actually done this. See, there is no personal responsibility in American society. You drink coffee that is obviously hot and burn yourself, you can sue. You eat a hamburger everyday and have a heart attack, you can sue. You smoke cigarettes and get cancer, you can sue. Basically, somebody put their child in the mesh bag of this stroller, something happend to the child and then somebody sued. Crazy. The company who makes these stroller-things was forced to put this tag onto the stroller sacks to keep crazy people from suing them. Funny. What the sign should say is "you can put your kid in this bag if you feel like it, but don't come running to us when something bad happens."