tickets

The other day I got a ticket. As always, they are doing some roadwork in the city. I think they're putting in sewer pipes or something-so there's about a two mile radius where you are can't make a left-hand turn. I was going down the street to get something to eat and I had to turn around, but I couldn't make a left. I figured if I go down the street a little it would be fine and I could turn around. Apparently not. I got into what should've been the turn lane and some lady coming the other way honked at me. I didn't even think about it and made the left turn. I pulled up to the light to turn right onto the same street and a police officer knocked on my window. He said, "Son, how long have you been driving?" I just smiled. What are you supposed to say? Is he serious? Am I supposed to get out my calculator? Do I say 8 years, or should I be sarcastic? Then he asked me if I knew I couldn't turn left-like I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say no even if I did see the sign. Maybe I should've said yes to throw him off. I don't know. Then he asked, "Do you want me to give you a citation?" Who the hell says citation, and where did he get that line from-Asshole: Your Guide to Being A State Trooper? I mean, I guess it all depends. If I say no, are you not going to give me one? Does my response even matter? I should've said, "Well officer, I was thinking this morning that it has been an awful long time since my last ticket and I would actually love a citation." It's like they're begging you to do something stupid so they can beat you up or take you to jail. Then he took 30 mintues to write the ticket-as about five other people turned left onto the same street. I think one even turned left, stopped to ask him for directions and turned around. I was just supposed to get a ticket that day, I guess. For all of the other stuff I do, and don't get caught for, I can't complain. Not that you ever need a ticket, but you always seem to get them when you don't have any money and you have a vacation planned for the court date. Oh well, we'll see what happens. Until then I'm going to go to Borders and get Sarcasm: Your Guide To Answering Stupid Questions from Asshole Cops.

camera at the light

I'm getting pretty good at the taking a picture while driving thing. Maybe that's not such a good idea when there is a camera at just about every other stop light in Atlanta-even though I think some of them are just up but not taking pictures. They're trying to scare you. I got two at the same light in the same day when they first started the whole thing. It takes a snapshot of your license plate as you roll through the red light. Once you get a ticket or two you pretty much know where they are. It's not even neccessarily a deterrent because from what I hear all you have to do is go into court and say that it wasn't you driving the car. They take a picture of the license plate, not the driver. So if they can't prove you were driving, how can they give you a ticket? I don't know how true this is because I just went ahead and paid my ticket. It sounds feasible-but I'm not a lawyer and neither is the person who told me this. Everybody thinks they're a lawyer though.