In honor of Tiger Woods cheating, I'm going to post some of the best jokes I've seen about the scandal.
What did you expect, the guy is paid to but the ball in the hole.
Tiger cheated with two women. Is that a double bogey or a hole in two?
Guess he couldn't keep his clubs in the bag.
Tiger got a hole in two. If his wife is keeping score, that's a double bogey.
He should have kept it in the short grass.
I wonder if he was playing the back 9?
I actually like Tiger Woods more now. I hope when Stuart Scott comes to interview him for ESPN during his record setting Master's win, he just flips him off and tells ESPN to go f*$$ themselves as he's walking away with four strippers.
Maybe she cleans his balls better than his wife does. I mean you have to have clean balls to win majors.
Tiger had more girls than he had golf clubs.
I wonder if the women wore tiger print panties?
Now we know how he got the name Tiger.
I wonder how many holes Tiger has played over the years. Sounds like quite a few.
Lock your wives up when the PGA Tour comes to your town; Tiger is swinging the driver.
Tiger, when apologizing to your wife DO NOT use the words SCREWED in any of your sentences. No screwed up, it was screwy, or I had a screw loose.
and the biggest joke of all is his phone call to one of the chicks to get her to change her number. He sounds like a man defeated. Pimp down! Pimp down!
Showing posts with label golf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label golf. Show all posts
December 02, 2009
Par for the Course
As you probably already know, Tiger Woods just got jammed up for cheating on his wife after wrapping his car around a fire hydrant and then a tree. There's speculation all around as to how/if the cheating and the accident are related.
I'm not buying the first part of the video—that she came to his rescue crap. Why in the world would she knock out the back window to save him if he's in the front? And how would a 110 pound woman, soaking wet holding two golf bags, pull a 200 pound man from a car? Not buying it.
The more believable story is the second part. I'll sum that up for those of you who don't follow Mandarin: Ole girl found out Tiger was cheating, slapped him around a little bit, and when he got in the car to leave she chased him down the street with a golf club. At that point Tiger turned around like, what is this B!t©h doin, and he ran into the hydrant and then the tree. The only thing fishy about that is the chasing him down the street with a golf club thing. Everybody knows white girls don't run down the street chasing men with the closest thing available (pots, pans, lamps, toy racecar tracks and golf clubs). That's reserved for the sistah's. White girls key cars, slash tires and cut off wangs.
Another story, straight from the mind of C.J., is that the whole thing was a setup. It follows the same line above: Ole girl found out Tiger was cheating and slapped him around a bit. Realizing he couldn't go to the next tournament looking like he got in a fight with Thing from the Addams Family, he smashed the car up to explain the scratches on his face.
And now everybody's in an uproar. I say, who cares? So the guy cheated. I'm not saying it's right; I'm just saying who's surprised? Yes, he's Tiger Woods and supposedly a good guy and all. But above all that is that he's a man. He has the same urges and tendencies as any other man, he just has more money and celebrity to make it all happen. I'm never surprised when I hear these stories. And to the he's supposed to be a role model crowd, raise your own kids. That guy has enough to worry about without babysitting your kids from inside the television. Parents need to start teaching their kids that, while these athletes have been blessed with what seems like super-human talent, they are still human, and just as fallible as anybody else. So it's ok to watch them and be in awe of their ability, but it by no means that the things that they do off the playing surface, or sometimes on it, are acceptable. That will put all this role model stuff to bed.
I'm not buying the first part of the video—that she came to his rescue crap. Why in the world would she knock out the back window to save him if he's in the front? And how would a 110 pound woman, soaking wet holding two golf bags, pull a 200 pound man from a car? Not buying it.
The more believable story is the second part. I'll sum that up for those of you who don't follow Mandarin: Ole girl found out Tiger was cheating, slapped him around a little bit, and when he got in the car to leave she chased him down the street with a golf club. At that point Tiger turned around like, what is this B!t©h doin, and he ran into the hydrant and then the tree. The only thing fishy about that is the chasing him down the street with a golf club thing. Everybody knows white girls don't run down the street chasing men with the closest thing available (pots, pans, lamps, toy racecar tracks and golf clubs). That's reserved for the sistah's. White girls key cars, slash tires and cut off wangs.
Another story, straight from the mind of C.J., is that the whole thing was a setup. It follows the same line above: Ole girl found out Tiger was cheating and slapped him around a bit. Realizing he couldn't go to the next tournament looking like he got in a fight with Thing from the Addams Family, he smashed the car up to explain the scratches on his face.
And now everybody's in an uproar. I say, who cares? So the guy cheated. I'm not saying it's right; I'm just saying who's surprised? Yes, he's Tiger Woods and supposedly a good guy and all. But above all that is that he's a man. He has the same urges and tendencies as any other man, he just has more money and celebrity to make it all happen. I'm never surprised when I hear these stories. And to the he's supposed to be a role model crowd, raise your own kids. That guy has enough to worry about without babysitting your kids from inside the television. Parents need to start teaching their kids that, while these athletes have been blessed with what seems like super-human talent, they are still human, and just as fallible as anybody else. So it's ok to watch them and be in awe of their ability, but it by no means that the things that they do off the playing surface, or sometimes on it, are acceptable. That will put all this role model stuff to bed.
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