wrapping it up is good. saving the wrapper is bad.

I was at Starbucks the other day buying a muffin and I couldn't find any change in my pocket. So I did that thing where you empty out the contents of your pockets onto the counter in search of the correct change. I pulled out lint, quarters, pennies, dimes and a peanut I think. In my rush to get everything out of my pocket to find some change, I accidentally procured a used condom wrapper. It was funny. Everything was slow motion like a duel on a western movie--like right when the clock strikes 12 and they draw their guns. I noticed it before she did. I looked at her to see if she saw what happened. I reached my hand onto the counter to try and execute the broom (where you use your hand to sweep everything off), but I was too late. My cat-like movements attracted her eye. She looked down at the wrapper and then disgustingly into my eyes. I felt like a little boy when you get in trouble and your mom gives you that boy-you-know-better-look. You know the one where she holds her head to the side, puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head slowly. At that moment the Starbucks girl's demeanor completely changed from smiling, attentive and helpful to completely disgusted. She squinted as she looked from the counter to me and made that noise that sounds like a balloon when you let all the air out. Pssssss. I gave her an ooops-my-bad smile and shrugged my shoulders. Instead of handing me my muffin she slid the plate along the counter like I had the plague or something and she didn't want to get too close to me. The condom wrapper is still on the counter, mind you. I slid the plate, along with the contents of my pocket, into my hands and walked over to the table. It was pretty embarrassing. Why I kept the old condom wrapper I don't know. I don't have an old condom wrapper collection or anything. It wasn't a lucky condom wrapper or a memento from an unforgettable moment. I don't know why I didn't throw it away like I did the rest of it. It provided for a funny story, though.

high five or wave?

Have you ever been stuck in the awkward situation trying to figure out if somebody is going in for a high five or waving? What do you do? If they're trying to give you five and you 'em him hanging, they feel awkward. If you go in for the five and they're only waving, you feel like a fool. It's a tough situation. I like to do is go ahead with the five. I'm pretty comfortable feeling like a fool, and I feel like fives are used more sparingly than they should be.
The most awkward greeting situation is the hand shake or hug decision. They're holding the hand out and you don't know whether to shake or hug. That one is a little harder. It requires that you do some evaluation. If you knew them well enough to go for the hug, I say go for it. If not it could get weird. You don't want to get stuck in the middle. Then you get the weird hug/handshake hybrid where you're holding half a wrist and have a mouthful of shoulder.