Madden Strikes Again

Superstitions are everywhere—especially in sports—but I never really bought into them when I was playing. I changed my sox, underwear and all that before every game. And normally I don't believe in curses, hexes and bad luck, but this Madden Curse thing is crazy. If you've ever played the John Madden video game, then you've probably heard of the Madden Curse. If not, get familiar. Since '99, the first year the game didn't feature Madden himself, legend has it that the player featured on the cover has a horrible year—whether it be a decline in performance, or an injury.

'99-Garrison Hearst-Dude had a catastrophic leg injury. The kind that ends your career

'00-Barry Sanders-Wasn't really on the cover, just in the background behind John Madden's shoulder. He still got hit. Retired before the season started.

'00-Dorsey Levens-Had only 224 yards the year after recording 1,034 rushing yards in 1999. He pretty much fell off the map.

'01-Eddie George-Before Cover: 1,375, 3.9 ypc. After Cover: 932, 3.3 ypc.

'02-Daunte Culpepper-3,853 Passing Yards, 18 TD, 23 INT, 75.5 Passer Rating, 21 fumbles. Vikings ended 6-10 after starting 4-7. Eventually fell to a knee injury

'03-Marshall Faulk-After hitting the 1,000 yard rushing mark in 7 out of 9 seasons, Faulk never hit the mark again. 209 Attempts, 818 Rushing Yards, 3.9 YPC, 10 TD the season after.

'04-Michael Vick-My man broke his fibula literally days after the game was released. Missed all but 5 games of season, and the Falcons ended up with a 5-11 record. Oh yeah, and he went to jail.

'05-Ray Lewis-Some say he broke the curse, but he did break his wrist in the second to last game of the season, only tallied 46 tackles, one sack, and one interception the year after. 2005 is the only season Lewis didn't make the Pro Bowl in his career.

'06-Donovan McNabb-Well, the Eagles got TO that year. That can be seen as a curse in and of itself. But McNabb also suffered a sports hernia in the first game of the season, feuded all year with Team Obliterator, and finally decided to have his injury surgically repaired, effectively ending his season after only 10 games.

'07-Shaun Alexander-Never missed a game until gracing the cover. He cracked his foot in the season and missed six games, never to be heard from again. I don't even know if dude is in the league anymore.

'08-Vince Young-Went from hero in the College Football National Championship Game to threatening retirement and being benched. Threw only 9 TDs and 17 interceptions.

'09-Brett Favre-Came out of retirement, traded to the Jets, started out well, but team finished 9-7 and Favre threw 5 INTs in the last four games, putting the team out of the playoffs. Also tore his biceps tendon and became insufferable.

And that brings us to this years cover which features Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Larry Fitzgerald of the Arizona Cardinals. Welp, last night the Madden Curse gave Troy the business. The Titan vs Steelers game saw the cover-boy leave the field with a knee injury. This after receiving three personal foul penalties. Reports hint that he’ll be out for three to six weeks.

Larry Fitgerald is nervous right now. If I were him, I'd be going to every video game store, buying up copies and whiting me out of every one of them. Either that or go Paris Hilton and jack a bunch of copies like she did when her porn tape was out. It's crazy. And Fitz, tell Kurt Warner you're not going high over the middle for any passes. Just stay down! EA should really consider leaving the cover of next year's Madden entry completely blank—either that, or just feature a generic picture of a football or a stadium or something. Why would you want to be on that thing, anyway? LT turned it down in '08. Shaun Alexander said, "Do I want to be on Madden and hurt, or just hurt?" Well, I'm not going out like a punk. All I know is that if somebody asked me, I'd say HELL NAW! It's not goin' down like that.

Working Man

Well, after a year of being unemployed/freelancing/interning, I finally got a job. It all went down last Thursday. I'll be in New York working at Hill Holliday on the Verizon account. This is my last weekend in Atlanta, and I'll be moving to New York next Saturday. Wish me luck. I guess this makes me official.

They Like Me. They Really Like Me.

Not necessarily they. Just she. And I don't even know if she really likes me. All I know is that I have a follower on my blog. First one. So now I have two people that read this besides me when I'm editing. Exciting. Anyway, big ups to her for reading. And please check out her blog if you get a chance.

Gassed Up at the Gas Station

I've written before about my exploits at the gas pump. And as we all know, times are rough these days. They're even rougher on those of us without jobs (that being me). I've filled my gas tank up the last couple times with change. In fact, I went in yesterday and put in 1.35. In change. Gas is currently about 2.35 in Georgia. The woman looked at me so stank when I gave the money to her. I think it was a combination of not wanting to count the change and not believing this guy just handed her a handful of change. Well, I don't know if this lady is reading this, but this message is for everybody else out there who's hatin': Stop looking at me foul when I put some change in the tank. Unless you're going to start chipping in on a tank, I don't want to hear it. I've got it rough right now. I went to college, then to portfolio school, and now I'm not working. I owe Uncle Same and Aunt Sallie Mae all kinds of money. I'm 27. I live at home. My parents tell me to clean my room and I still get asked where I'm going. I'm getting it from all angles right now. I don't want to hear it from cashier at the gas station too. Don't make me climb over that counter.

Coincidence? I Think Not

We've all heard about the exploits of Chris Brown and Rihanna. If you don't remember, let me give you the rundown: Chris got a booty call text message from some hoochie. Rihanna peeped it and got mad. She got out of the car. He wanted her back in the car, so he grabbed her. She pulled away, and that's when Chris went Mike Tyson on her. Cops were called and yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyway, he went to trial in August and was sentenced to community service or something. I wonder if his charges could've gotten bumped up, though. I mean, I don't find it coincidental that Brown made a song about breathing with 'No Air' prior to choking and beating his girlfriend. Some would call it a verbal warning, but I call it premeditated. I'm just saying.
And now from the annuls of You Can't Make That Shit Up comes my man Shawne Merriman. The 270 pound All-Pro NFL linebacker who was arrested early Sunday after girlfriend, reality star Tila Tequila, accused him of choking and throwing her while she was at his suburban San Diego home. Tequila signed a citizen's arrest warrant accusing Merriman of battery and false imprisonment. Both are felonies. Merriman issued a statement Sunday denying wrongdoing and saying he was trying to keep Tequila from leaving because he thought she was a little too tipsy. Prosecutors are deciding whether to press charges, and Merriman and his lawyer have said they expect him to be vindicated (get outta here. He's not giving the Chris Brown/MLB answer of, "I didn't know what I was doing/taking," and maybe he, "choked her a little bit." I can't believe it). It all makes me wonder, is there some premeditation here too? I mean, Shawne Merriman hits like a Mack truck. Dude's nickname is Lights Out for God's' sake. Foreshadowing? I don't know. Maybe he wasn't trying to put her lights out, but he was definitely trying to dim them a little.