October 31, 2008

Halloween's Burning Question

If regular girls dress up as strippers and hoes for Halloween, what kind of costumes do real strippers and hoes wear? At some jobs you're allowed to dress up for Halloween. The day before, everybody is asking others what they're going to dress up as the next day. Can you imagine those conversations at a strip club or street corner the day before Halloween?
"Satin, what are you going to be for Halloween?"
"Well Lace, I thought about being a secretary, but I don't have any underwear with a crotch."
Granted, these women wear costumes everyday, and I'm sure they have a number of doctor, nurse, cowgirl and dominatrix costumes, but you're supposed to actually dress up for Halloween. The holiday is supposed to give you an opportunity to REALLY dress up—play another character. If you're a doctor you can't wear your scrubs out. Lawyers don't wear their suits. So strippers can't wear their stripper get-ups on Halloween. They're not really dressing up. There's a difference between dressing-up and playing dress-up. If you're an authentic stripper or a full-time hoe, you have to go deep into your bag of tricks for your costume. So what do real strippers wear on Halloween? I can't tell you, but I'm certain there aren't a whole bunch of McDonald's clerks, grandmothers or nuns at the strip club today. It's sad because the regular girls steal the stripper thunder on Halloween. They steal their costumes. And what about the street corner? Do hookers dress up on Halloween? How many doctors are there out there? Probably not many. How would people know who to pick up if even the hookers look like regular people? Not that I've ever patronized a hooker, but even I know that the only way to tell a hooker is her uniform. So I guess they're not allowed to dress up on Halloween. It goes against the hooker dress code. And let's not forget about pimps. Everyday is dress up day for pimps. They probably dress as regular people too. They certainly can't wear their green suits with the feather coming out. So today, if you don't have a costume and everybody is asking you what you are, just tell them you're an off-duty pimp on Halloween. In a way it's sad, though. What kind of job is it that you can't dress up for Halloween?

No comments: