parents just don't understand

I was talking to a girl the other day. She was all excited about prom and her dress and she started describing it. I asked her if the dress had a split or something in it and her mom, who was sitting across the table said, "Oh no no no. Momma don't do splits in dresses for 17 year-olds." I thought that was odd coming from the same woman who allows her daughter to have parties in her house when she is not home. I guess she's one of those mom's who thinks that as long as you do it at my house it's ok. What does a dress with a split in it do that's not being done at a house party with no adult supervision? She even buys the beer. They're going to do it anyway, right? That's crazy logic. You're going to facilitate underage drinking because kids are going to do it anyway. Let's buy them weed and condoms too. I mean, they're going to do it anyway. But please, please, don't buy them dresses with splits in them. That's just outragous. In fact, I'm starting a petition to lower the drinking age to 14 and raise the no-slits-in-dress age to 20. I am also going to teach a class warning parents of the dangers of dresses with slits. Last week a boy broke his nose after he ran into a locker door because he was paying more attention to a girl with a slit in her skirt than where he was going.